Monday, January 01, 2007

This article from the Boston Globe (free subscription required) is shockingly similar to how I felt when I had the misfortunte of renting a GM car one day when mine was in the shop.

I believe my particular vehicle was a Chevy Malibu, or at least the precursor to the venerable Malibu. All it said on the rear of the car was "Classic," whatever the fuck that's supposed to mean. If I could describe this car in two words, they would be "squishy" and "cheap." The interior of this car looked like it was designed by a four-year-old. Nothing fit. Cheap plastic peices on the dash and paneling were not the right size, or looked like they were taken from a salvage yard, not deliberately put there by professional car designers. The shift handle was about 8 inches too long and the seats were horrifically uncomfortable. They seemed to have a convex shape so that, rather than cradling the driver's body, they encouraged it to roll around from left to right with every turn. Built in vomit receptacles are optional on the Malibu. And everything, I mean everything, was covered in a squishy cheap vinyl that even Soviet car manufacturers abandoned in 1981.

But the crowning achievement of typically shoddy GM workmanship werethe climate control vents. When you set the vents in their default position, so that they are flush with the spongy dash, they do not point straight ahead, but about 35 degrees upward directly at your face, the hot air drying out your corneas and making your eyes tear. When you adjust the vents so that they are facing directly ahead, they are partially obstructed by THE DASH ITSELF!! And as I was fiddling with the vents, one literally broke off in my hand.

I must admit, I was a little surprised that the mere sight of a vehicle could arouse intense feelings of anger in me, but this car made me downright furious. It made me angry because as one of the oldest, and still the largest car makers in the world, GM should have no trouble designing at least half-way decent cars. It made me angry because all I could think about while I was driving this "vehicle" were all those obnoxious GM commercials invoking patriotism, and touting the quality of their vehicles. But mostly it made me angry because GM is one of America's most venerable corporate giants, and yet they insist on making vehicles that everyone but the most deluded, patriotic consumers would balk at driving.

A message to all GM engineers, designers, marketing execs, managers, and manufacturing employees: You are an embarassment to this country. It would not trouble me one bit if GM were to go bankrupt tomorrow and be forced to liquidate all assets, shuttering the doors forever, for you have built the worst company on the planet.

And a message to all GM customers and potential customers: Get a clue. It took me all of 10 minutes of sitting in a General Motors car to know that I would never even consider buying one. Don't think that by buying a peice of shit you are somehow supporting the American economy. All you are doing is subsidising a company that no longer deserves to exist.

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